Putting Off the Old, Putting On the New—How God Wants Us To Live

Paul says in Ephesians 4:17-31 to not live like people who don’t know God, because their thinking is dark, confused, and far from the life God offers. Their hearts are hard, they feel no shame, and they chase whatever feels good, even if it’s wrong.

But since we know the truth about Jesus, we should take off our old sinful habits and lifestyle—the stuff that’s driven by lies and selfish desires—and let the Holy Spirit change how we think and give us a new attitude. Then put on our new self, the one God created to be righteous and holy.

But what is this new self Paul is speaking about?

“Putting off” the old self simply means you’re no longer thinking, acting, or responding the way you used to. Your mindset has been changed — renewed by Christ through Scripture, prayer, and the Holy Spirit’s guidance. And because your mind is different, you’re now choosing to live differently.

You’re being intentional about your attitudes, your reactions, and your behavior — choosing the Christlike way that Paul talks about in Colossians and Galatians.

Paul helps us understand what life should look like now that Jesus is with us and God’s Spirit is in us. He shows us what it means to "take off the old self" and what it looks like to "put on the new".

In simple terms, it’s like saying, “I used to react like this… but now that my mind is renewed, I see things differently. I see things the way God sees them — the true and healthy way. And because of that, I now respond to the same situations in a better, wiser, and more Christlike way.”

So let’s walk through what it actually looks like to “put off the old self” and “put on the new,” using Paul’s framework from Ephesians 4 and Colossians 3. This is where theology becomes practical — where what we believe starts shaping how we live.

The Daily Exchange

Paul gives us a simple three-step framework to follow:

1. Put off the old way — the sinful mindset, habit, or behavior.

2. Be renewed in your mind — let God’s truth replace the lies you used to believe.

3. Put on the new self — choosing the Christlike mindset, response, or action.

Now let’s take that framework and apply it to real-life areas we all deal with.

Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness

When Paul talks about putting off the old and putting on the new, it becomes really practical when we look at areas like anger and bitterness.

Scripture tells us to “put off all bitterness, rage, and anger” and instead “be kind and compassionate… forgiving one another” (Ephesians 4:31–32).

In everyday life, that looks like letting go of grudges, dropping the silent treatment, and stopping the endless replay of someone’s mistakes in your mind.

As the Holy Spirit works in our hearts, we start reminding ourselves, “God has forgiven me so much — why shouldn’t I forgive someone else? If God can forgive, why can’t I?”

If God is not above forgiving, why do we think we are?

From that mindset, forgiveness starts to become possible. Kindness comes more naturally. And sometimes, healing even begins when we find ourselves praying for the person who hurt us.

“Forgiveness is a decision not a feeling and I am convince that if we in the church would learn to forgive we don't need a much deliverance.” — [Kevin Kazemi], YouTube, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suYhU8J0llM&t=3297s

When we choose to forgive, and the enemy tries to bring back to our minds the things others have done to hurt us, it will no longer have power over us, influence our emotions, or affect our hearts—because we have already made the deliberate decision to let go of anger and resentment toward that person or those people for what they did. Most importantly, this act of forgiveness will lead to tremendous healing and/or deliverance. You can’t plant bitterness and expect peace. Life brings back what you send out.

God isn’t okay with the pain we experience when someone hurts us. He cares deeply about our wounds. But in His wisdom, He knows the risks and dangers that come when we try to take revenge on our own. He sees the bigger picture and knows that holding onto anger or acting out in revenge often brings more harm than good.

When someone wrongs us and we seek revenge instead of justice through the right channel—God (Deuteronomy 32:35; Romans 12:17-19), we step into God’s role (James 4:12), we let anger, bitterness, or pride lead our decisions, and we risk returning evil for evil, which God clearly commands against (Romans 12:17; Proverbs 20:22).

God prefers that we "keep our hands clean" and allow Him to take care of things for us. During this time, we should focus on healing, understanding, and moving forward. Besides, forgiving causes more harm to the enemy than any act of revenge ever could.

Breaking Free from Lust and Sexual Sin

Paul says to “put to death sexual immorality” and to “put on compassion, humility, and self-control” (Colossians 3:5–6; 1 Corinthians 10:13). That means walking away from porn, unhealthy fantasies, flirtation, or emotional entanglements that pull your heart away from God.

As God renews your mind, you start realizing, “This isn’t freedom — it’s bondage. Christ frees me to love with purity.” And from that renewed place, you begin choosing accountability, guarding what you watch or read, avoiding people or conversations that lead to lust, and learning to see others as God’s image-bearers, not objects for your own gratification.

Being Fake and Lying

Paul also calls us to put off lying and hiding. “Put off falsehood… speak truthfully” (Ephesians 4:25). That means dropping the faking, the half-truths, the people-pleasing, and the pressure to look perfect.

The Holy Spirit renews us by reminding us, “God already sees you, knows you, and accepts you. You don’t have to put on a front or build a fake version of yourself.” When that truth sinks in, honesty stops feeling scary. Being vulnerable becomes safer. And little by little, we start living in the light instead of trying to keep up a mask.

No generation has struggled with authenticity or being fake more than ours, mainly because of social media. It’s never been easier to hide behind filters, carefully curated images, or AI-enhanced versions of ourselves.

There’s no fact-checking. Anyone can project a false identity with just a few clicks. And because of that, so many people are getting swept into deception simply because they don’t have discernment.

But don't be apart of this scheme, don’t get caught up in that trap. Scripture makes it clear that lying is not a small thing to God. “Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord”  (Proverbs 12:22).

Proverbs also lists lying twice among the 6 things God hates: pride, lying tongues, shedding innocent blood, wicked schemes, running toward evil, bearing false witness, and stirring up conflict (Proverbs 6:16–19). And the Bible warns over and over again that liars will not escape judgment (Proverbs 19:9; Psalm 101:7; Proverbs 12:19).

When you lie—whether online or in real life—you are no better than Satan himself, because you're aligning yourself with his ways (John 8:44).

Releasing Anxiety and Control

Scripture says, “Do not be anxious about anything” and “Cast your cares on Him because He cares for you” (Philippians 4:6; 1 Peter 5:7). So putting off anxiety looks like releasing the constant overthinking, the obsessive planning, and the pressure to control every outcome.

Letting go of control and loving it.

Letting go of control can actually feel freeing. When you let God take the lead in your life, you don’t just trust Him — you get to actually enjoy your life, without carrying the weight of trying to manage everything yourself. Allow God to control your life so you can enjoy your life

We may create our own plans, and they may succeed or fail, but regardless of what we decide, our plans will never override God's plan. Even though we may carry many intentions in our hearts, it is ultimately the Lord who is in control and the one who directs and establishes our steps in life (Proverbs 16:9).

Here is a prayer you can recite to surrender control to God:

"God I confess I like being in control. It makes me feel safe and secure. It makes me feel like I have a purpose. However, help me to trust in you deeply, so that I will not fear surrendering that control. Help me remember that YOU control everything.”

As your mind is renewed, a new truth settles in: “God is sovereign. I’m not in control — but I am safe with Him.” And that truth leads you to put on trust, prayer, surrender, and a deep fixed peace and joy, that doesn’t depend on circumstances.

Anxiety is a stealer. It steals your joy, peace, and freedom. Therefore, God protects our hearts and mind from it with His peace.

There are many factors in life that can trigger anxiety. And taking note of those moments is the key to living anxiety free.

Replacing Pride & Self-Reliance with Humility

Paul says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition” and “Clothe yourselves with humility” (Philippians. 2:3; Colossians. 3:12). That means putting off the need to always be right, the desire to be noticed, the habit of comparing, and the defensiveness that rises when we feel insecure.

Renewal sounds like, “My worth isn’t in proving myself — it’s in Christ.” And when that truth sinks in, humility grows. You find it easier to encourage others, to own your mistakes, and to depend on God instead of putting everything on your own shoulders.

Proverbs warns us that before there's as downfall pride comes first (Proverbs 18:12).

There is nothing good about pride, and as you mature in Christ, you will see how devastating, embarrassing, and destructive it is. I would recommend doing everything possible to see what God has to say about pride, and when you do, you will thank yourself tremendously that you did!

You can read more about pride here → The Silent Killer: Pride and here → Nothing New Under the Sun: How Pride "Still" Destroys Nations, Leaders, and Lives

Sometimes we go through life thinking, “I don’t need anyone but myself.” It’s the mindset of self-reliance — the idea that we can handle everything on our own, control every outcome, and follow our own agenda. But this mindset opposes God’s design.

Scripture reminds us: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5–6). We are meant to depend on Him, not solely on ourselves.

Being emptied of self-will and self-reliance is uncomfortable. It feels like letting go of control, but it’s also where your life changes for the better. This is when we can truly say, “Not my will, but Yours be done” (Luke 22:42). What God wants for you supersedes what you'll ever want for yourself (Jeremiah 29:11; Isaiah 55:8–9; Proverbs 3:5–6; Romans 8:28).

Dying to ourselves in this way reflects Galatians 2:20: “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.”

When we stop trying to hold it all ourselves and instead rely on God, our roots go deeper. Even when nothing seems to be happening on the surface, growth is taking place inside us.

Dependence on God isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom, strength, purpose, and it's gaining a life that we cannot produce on our own. True freedom comes when we let go of self-reliance and let God lead.

How We Should Love Each Other

In Luke 6:32–36, Jesus teaches us what real, Christ-like love looks like. Loving people who already love you back is something anyone can do. Jesus says:

“If you love those who love you… even sinners do that.”

There’s nothing supernatural about loving people who treat you well. Even those far from God can do that. That kind of love doesn’t reveal God’s heart, it only reflects human nature.

But when you choose to love people who hurt you, oppose you, or don’t give you anything in return, that is the higher love God calls us to live out.

Jesus said:

“But love your enemies, do good to them… and lend expecting nothing back.”

This is agape love — the kind of love that only makes sense when God is living inside you. It echoes Jesus’ words in Matthew 5:44:

“Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”

Loving like this won’t feel natural at first. It may feel impossible, especially when the wound is deep. But with God’s help, hearts change — and so do we.

Jesus ends this teaching with the call to be merciful, because mercy is at the center of who God is.

Mercy looks like

• Giving people what they don’t deserve

• Forgiving when they haven’t earned forgiveness

• Showing love even when it wasn’t returned

This is exactly how God treats us every single day (Lamentations 3:22–23).

Why God’s Love is So Important and Powerful

God’s love doesn’t just make us feel good, it transforms us. It softens hard hearts. It breaks cycles of bitterness. It shows the world what God is really like. And it empowers us to do what we could never do on our own (Galatians 5:22).

In simple terms, Jesus is saying, “If you want to be like God, love the people who don’t love you back.”

Real love looks most like God when it costs you something.

Living in the New Nature

Change isn’t easy, but the Bible gives us a simple framework for transformation: putting off the old and putting on the new. It’s about letting go of sinful habits and embracing the character of Christ.

True transformation isn’t just about changing our actions—it’s about a heart change. When we put off the old, we invite the Holy Spirit to renew our hearts. As God promises in Ezekiel 36:26, He will give us a new heart and a new spirit, replacing our hearts of stone with hearts of flesh.

With this new nature, our lives begin to reflect God’s love, holiness, and freedom. Anger, lust, lies, anxiety, and pride lose their grip, and in their place, kindness, self-control, honesty, peace, and humility grow.

Living this way isn’t always easy, but with Christ, it’s possible—and it’s life-changing (Matthew 19:26).

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A call for salvation 

When you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, His Spirit becomes one with yours. This is one of the greatest blessings of salvation. You no longer need to go through anyone else to reach God—because you and He are now united.

All you need to do is receive the gift of salvation by repenting of your sins, inviting Jesus into your life, and confessing Him as Lord. This involves acknowledging your sin and the need for forgiveness, believing that Jesus died for your sins and rose again, and then surrendering your life to Him.

As Romans 10:9 declares, “If you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” And 1 John 4:15 assures us, “If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God.”

Another important step is to renounce the kingdom of darkness. By doing so, you are breaking any covenant or partnership with it and recommitting yourself to the Kingdom of Light—Jesus Christ.

When you take this step, you are saved and welcomed into God’s Kingdom—becoming a member of the family of Christ!

Here's a Prayer that you can pray to get saved:

"Jesus, I confess that You are Lord, and I believe in my heart that You died and rose again for my sins. I know that I am a sinner, and I repent and ask for Your forgiveness. I invite You to come into my heart and life, and I receive You as my personal Lord and Savior. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Renounce the Kingdom of Darkness

Right now, I renounce and break all ties, covenants, and agreements with the kingdom of darkness, knowingly or unknowingly made. I reject Satan, all his works, and every influence of evil over my life.

Fill me with Your Holy Spirit. Lead me, teach me, and establish me in Your purpose. From this day forward, I belong to Jesus. I am a child of God, and I walk in the light. In Jesus' name, Amen.

After this step, pray for guidance to find a ministry where you can grow spiritually, gain knowledge about the kingdom, and begin living the abundant life promised by Jesus.

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