💍 What Would Your Marriage Be Like If You Knew This Secret About Marriage?
- Heather Edmund
- 8 hours ago
- 7 min read
Here's what I learned while single...
Marriage today can feel like a minefield. From endless arguments about money, parenting, or house chores, to ghosting each other emotionally after a long day.
Many couples are just trying to survive rather than thrive. But what if there was a better way? What if your marriage could reflect something deeper — a love that’s built to last, rooted in something far greater than just feelings or convenience?
The truth is, God’s view of marriage isn’t outdated or “old-fashioned.” It’s actually the ultimate playbook for a thriving relationship. Understanding His design isn’t just about avoiding divorce — it’s about creating a partnership full of trust, respect, joy, and a love that mirrors His own covenant with us.
In this post, we’ll break down what it really means to follow God’s blueprint for marriage and why understanding it can completely transform the way you love, communicate, and grow together.
When the Pharisees asked Jesus about divorce in Mark 10:2–12, they weren’t really searching for truth — they were testing Him. But Jesus used their question to reveal something deeper: the divine purpose and covenant of marriage.
Marriage Was God’s Idea
Jesus reminded them, “At the beginning of creation, God made them male and female… the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one.” (Mark 10:6–8).
That means marriage isn’t a human invention — it’s God's design. It’s not just about companionship or compatibility; it’s about oneness — a spiritual, emotional, and physical union created by God Himself.
Marriage was meant to reflect God’s relationship with His people — a bond marked by love, faithfulness, and covenant (Ephesians 5:31–32).
What Happens When You Understand How God Sees Marriage
When you understand how God sees marriage, it does two things: it teaches you how God views marriage and reveals how deeply God loves us. God’s definition of marriage teaches us about His love and how we should love each other in marriage.
The relationship God has with us is a covenant relationship (Jeremiah 31:33), and the relationship we should have with each other in marriage is also a covenant relationship (Mark 10:9). It’s not merely a social or legal contract, but a spiritual covenant that mirrors the relationship between God and His people (Ephesians 5:31–32).
In marriage it means:
We both show up.
We fight for each other, not against each other.
We’re building something together.
We honor the covenant we made.
We’re choosing love, respect, and unity — even when feelings fluctuate.
I’m not going anywhere.
I choose you on the good days and the bad days.
I’m invested in this relationship.
I’m willing to put in the work.
I have your back, and you have mine.
It’s basically saying: “You can rely on me, and I can rely on you.”
A covenant is when two people make vows and promises that they swear not to break. We see this same type of promise in weddings today, where both the bride and groom make vows before God.
But most people don’t realize that a covenant isn’t only a formal, solemn, and binding agreement, it means that even if the other person breaks their part of the promise, you're still bound to keep yours. If people truly understood this, the divorce rate would drop dramatically.
“What God Has Joined Together”
Mark 10:9 makes it clear that God should be the one joining a couple together.
When Jesus says, “What God has joined together, let no one separate,” He’s showing that marriage is sacred and intended to be lifelong (Mark 10:9). That’s why Jesus continues in verse 11: “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”
But what about those who say, “What if I’m in a marriage that’s abusive, toxic, or unhealthy?” There's two responses to this question.
That’s where the heart issue comes in.
And why it’s so important to let God be the one who joins us together in the first place.
Let’s Break It Down
If we love each other the same way Christ loves the Church, there would be no abuse, toxicity, or unhealthiness in marriage (Ephesians 5:25). And if we allow God to bring, show, or introduce us to our spouse, we won’t end up with someone who is abusive or destructive.
It starts with a choice — the choice to allow an all-knowing, wise, and loving God, who sees the future and knows our hearts, to be our matchmaker. When we trust Him to lead us to the right person, we avoid heartbreak and confusion later.
Some may say, “Well, God put them together.” But is that really true? The evidence is in the fruit (Matthew 7:16). Knowing God’s nature tells us that He will never give you something that isn’t good, excellent, or beneficial (James 1:17). That’s just not His character.
Any marriage where both people waited on God and allowed Him to bring them together — though it may still have disagreements because we’re human — will not be abusive or dangerous. It won’t destroy your health, peace, or sanity. A relationship joined by God will bear the fruit of peace, love, forgiveness, and grace, not fear and pain (Galatians 5:22–23).
The “Certificate of Divorce” Was Never God’s Ideal
Moses allowed divorce (Deuteronomy 24:1–4), but Jesus explained why: “It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law.” (Mark 10:5).
In other words, God permitted it because of human sin, selfishness, and hardened hearts — not because it was ever His will. Divorce was a way to protect women in a broken society, but lso ait reflected humanity’s failure to love as God intended.
If We Truly Understood the Purpose of Marriage
If men and women truly understood the divine purpose of marriage — as a covenant of love, unity, service, and reflection of Christ’s relationship with the Church — divorce wouldn’t even be part of the conversation.
Marriage isn’t about personal fulfillment or convenience; it’s about oneness, commitment, and sacrificial love (1 Corinthians 13:4–7).
When that purpose is understood and embraced:
Love becomes patient and forgiving (1 Corinthians 13:4–7).
Conflicts are resolved through grace, understanding, and patience — not escape.
The focus shifts from “What can I get?” to “How can I reflect God’s love, in each moment?”
Jesus Restores Marriage to Its Original Glory
When Jesus pointed back to “the beginning,” He wasn’t just making a legal argument, He was calling people to return to God’s original design (Genesis 2:24). He was saying, “You’ve used Moses’ law to justify your brokenness, but I came to restore what was lost.”
The issue isn’t just divorce. It’s the condition of the heart. If hearts are softened and aligned with God’s will, the true purpose of marriage — unity, love, and covenant — will prevail.
Once we understand the why of marriage, it will transforms how we live in marriage.
The certificate divorce was man’s way of ending what God meant to be unbreakable, but when hearts understand God’s design, the need for such a document — as divorce — disappears.
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