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How to Fill the Hole of Negativity in Your Life

Updated: Apr 12

A negative mindset will never give you a positive life.

From Series: What's your Story?

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How you think determines the way your life will be.

The hole of negativity was dug so deep, it was only when I got out, did I realize how deep I’d fallen.

I used to watch other families and wish mine was like theirs. I would enjoy watching the interaction with the parents and their kids. It looked so fun, warm, and happy. As I watched I wondered how differently my life would be if I had a different upbringing. I watched those families trying to find the secret to their happiness.

Growing up in my household, negativity was the order of the day, customary and normal. So normal, that it was only when I got out of it, did I realize how abnormal it is.

My environment made me anxious and tense, and looking back I saw how these emotions caused me to miss so many great experiences.

I was trapped in a negative mindset that hindered me from not only enjoying life, but from having a life.

I brought this behavior into all my relationships, even the one I have with God. It was destructive and toxic as I created victims because of how I was. I was unaware that what is in you would come out (Matthew 15:18; Luke 6:45; Proverbs 4:23).

I lived many years trapped, and when this was made clear to me, I became happy because the answer to my problem came. To be trapped in a lie for many years and to be released from it, is a happy moment.

God showed me how I approached every opportunity with suspicion, doubt, fear, or criticism. And how I would always see the glass half empty—never half full.

My negative approach to things, situations, and people caused loneliness, few friends, and few healthy relationships. I needed to see the hole of negativity I had fallen into before I was able to better understand the hole, I was trapped in.

When you are in something, you are blinded from seeing the entire scene. You can only see the surroundings you are in, but you are not able to see what’s on the outside.

If you’re in a building and never go outside, you are not able to see, feel, smell, or experience the environment outside the building. It is only when you get out of the building do you realize how beautiful the sky is, how refreshing the air feels, and how bright the sun is.

This negative hole that was dug dictated and directed the course of my life and became the driving force behind the decisions I made. I needed to be free.

Could you be where you are in life today because of how you think? "What you think and say will either free you from what you want to get out of, or it will punish you by keeping you in that condition or worse." An excerpt from It's OK To Be Single

My negative mindset brought depression, dependencies, which then led to alcoholism. From that came shame and loss of dignity. Nothing good came out of being in this hole.

It was during a moment of sudden insight that made me celebrate knowing that the next years of my life would be free of negative thoughts. Free from complaining, judging, criticizing, and never seeing the good in myself or people. Free from being a perfectionist and learning to go with the flow instead of wanting to be in control, and to stop putting unrealistic expectations on myself and others.

My relationship with God has brought me out of the hole of negativity into freedom, and God did this by using a statement that I read: "The best piece of advice I got from my father was to keep eating, try new things and be playful." Sursur Lee

This post caused me to think of how impressive and positive his dad must have been. I could hear the joy in his voice as he reminisced on how encouraging his father was and the impact it had on their relationship.

I wondered how many other positive words he must have heard growing up to help him to become the renowned chef he is today.

This is when the Lord spoke within and let me know that my life could be just as exciting if I learn to let go of negativity. Instantly, I saw the hole I was coming out of. I could visualize it.

As I saw myself being released from this hole, tears of joy streamed down my face. I started to reflect on how negative I am about myself, and how this was the reason I could not have the life I wanted. I was repeating what I saw and experienced growing up.

You may not have supporters, encouragers, people that want the best for you in life, or a healthy childhood, but that's ok because you have a friend name Jesus who cares, supports, and encourages you (John 15:13,15).

"Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you"

—Peter 5:7 (NIV)

Being negative is a trap because your outlook and mood affects your frame of mind which influences your attitude and behavior.

Athletes know this first-hand. They understand the way they approach a game will determine how well they play or perform. It's the same with our lives. The way we approach life will determine the outcome.

The full measure of your joy comes from your relationship with Jesus. People and things can bring you moments of happiness, but to get the full amount, the all-inclusive, not lacking, and complete type of joy, comes from Jesus Christ (John 17:13).

God's joy is the greatest extent of joy you can ever have. God comes complete with joy. It's his nature, personality, and his very makeup. You won't need to go elsewhere or do anything in conjunction because God's joy is all the joy you'll ever need!

In one moment of communion with him, my whole life perspective changed. And one moment of fellowship with him will change your life too.

I now know that with the joy that comes from God, all things work together for those that love him (Romans 8:28). It’s knowing that whatever you are destined to do will occur and whatever you ask from him will happen. This truth was the power that I needed to overcome.

"Joy is a mindset that refuses to accept thoughts, voices, or ideas that want to steal your happiness."

I may not have had the family upbringing that I wanted, but I can create the one I want. The way your life starts does not have to be the way your life ends. God can heal you, and turn those unpleasant life experiences into positive outcomes.

I understand the damage of speaking negative words or statements to a child because I experienced it and because of this I will be someone who supports and corrects with love. And allow God to show me the best way to be impactful and to break the cycle of negativity to positivity.

Our stories are evidence of the power of God. We can argue with theology, but we cannot argue with someone's story.

What's your Story?

If you've found this blog valuable, please remember to share it on social media below. Sharing is a free way to share the Gospel and to let everyone know that God can turn those unpleasant life experiences into positive ones.

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A call for salvation

When you accept Jesus Christ as your Savior, His spirit will come to live inside you. This is one of the greatest blessings of salvation. You don't have to go through someone else to get to God, and He will live in your heart where you and Him become one and have a relationship.

All you have to do is make the choice of salvation by repenting of your sins and accepting Jesus into your life by confessing that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that He came from Heaven to die for your sins (Romans 10:9).

Here's a prayer you can repeat:

"Jesus, I confess that you are Lord, and I believe you died and was risen for my sins. I repent and ask for forgiveness of my sins, and I accept you as my personal Lord and Savior. Come into my heart and remove my sins. Thank you for forgiving me and making me into a new person in Jesus' name, Amen."

Once you have done this, please pray and ask God to guide you to a ministry where you can grow, mature, and start living the abundant life Jesus promised and died for.


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🎙️ LISTEN to this important message on how PEACE can be our GUARD against any negative thoughts, click Video below...

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