Updated: May 20
"I could have gotten you out of many situations with a snap of my finger, but I allowed it knowing you would share your story. How can you write about me if you haven’t gone through anything?”
Were the words I received one day while being disappointed with my life. I am a dreamer who believes in my dreams coming true and when I started to notice how long my dreams were taking to become a reality, I became depressed. Just like the Israelite's who forgot about where God took them from to where He was taking them, I too lost focus. I fell into the trap of watching other people soaring and succeeding while I was stuck in the same spot. I was doing so much but I could not see any tangible results. Some people will succeed and never tell others about how God helped them, but He knows some of us would. He knows the many people who need His help and how by sharing our story will let them know where their help comes from (Psalm 121). He could have gotten me out of many situations with a snap of His finger, but He permitted it knowing I would share my story of how powerful His love is over our circumstances and tell all who is willing to hear, about the great love He has for us.
It is not punishment to go through tough times, because others need to know what God can do to be delivered and come out of their tough times. There is a reward for those who do not waver or give up (James 1:12; Galatians 6:9). It is a reward knowing that our suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope and hope does not put us to shame because of His unconditional love (Romans 5:3-5). How can I help someone who is addicted come out of addictions if I cannot relate or understand?
Only selfish people do not care or seek to understand others. It’s about them, and if it does not benefit or concern them, they do not care. This is the state of the world we live in, so people need to know during all their troubles there is Someone who does care, understands, and is more than happy to help. Jesus understands our every weakness because He was tempted in every way we were. But He didn’t sin. So whenever you have a need come bravely before the throne of our merciful God. There you will be treated with undeserved kindness, and you will find help - Hebrews 4:15-15 It is only when you experience something can you truly understand.
It was during my time of addiction did I realize how easy it is to give up. To give up on yourself, your dreams, and believing that you will never be free. I could not see myself not drinking. I really couldn’t, it felt weird not to. Drinking became a part of me, it became my God. Drinking caused me to ignore rational thinking. I knew the negative effects of a lot of alcohol consumption, but even with those fact, my liver and kidney deteriorating, my money depleted, and my shame increasing, I kept drinking. You look at yourself in your own pool of shame and weakness, wanting so badly to get out, but cannot. On the outside is seems simple, to just stop right? No, because when you try your body shakes, aches, and pains you. You experience a discomfort that cannot be articulated or expressed. It is deep within, beyond what a doctor can see with their best medical devices. You cannot get counselled out of this as the pain cannot be seen because it is not natural.
When you cross the line from the natural into the unnatural, things are different. Depending on which realm you enter, it can be life or death. It is no longer a game or a joke. When you see people suffering from addictions we tend to look at them as weak or like it is something they want.
Do you think a woman enjoys prostituting herself for her next fix? Subjecting herself to rape, disease, pregnancy, and having her kids taken away from her if it was so easy to stop? Creating a domino effect of worse things to happen?
If you are a loving parent or guardian and your child is taking away from you, the pain you already feel behind the addiction worsens, taking you deeper down into a cesspool of darkness. Tell me how easy it is to navigate your way out of a place that the darkness is so thick you are blinded by it. This is the mental state those who are struggling with any form of addiction falls into. Not knowing what is around the corner, not being able to see in front or behind you. You are vulnerable and open to any form of evil. There is a greater pull or force that is so strong it puts you pass the point of reasoning and control. From experience I can tell you I operated in a control that was not myself. I experienced it first-hand. I remember a time when my addiction was so strong, and I had no money, I began rummaging through garbage to see if there was a little drop of liquor on the bottom of the discarded bottles. That is how low I sunk. I put myself at risk of getting diseases and infections. But God had a different plan, not only was every bottle I picked up was completely dry, but He also had my mom pray for me so that I wouldn’t cross the "line" of what people call no return.
But I do not believe in this line. For me to believe in this “line" is for me to not believe this Scripture, “Is there anything too hard for God" (Genesis 18:14; Jeremiah 32:27). You are never too far gone for God to reach.
While battling depression, I know what it feels like to want my life to end.
The strong force and energy that pulls you to the edge of the cliff feels so right and like the only solution while sensing a feeling of relief. What deception, trickery, and how strong the pull to jump is, and how hard it is to walk away from.
So many have committed suicide because they could not see their tomorrow. They couldn’t see the world changers they could have become. They were the next scientist of great discoveries or the next doctor who would have found a cure for a disease. They were the next inventor to create a robot that would help people walk again. They were the next engineer who would have met social and consumer needs. They were the next architect to create buildings that will change the way we live. They were the next musician who would minister to the troubled soul and bring relieve. They were the voice that would have led their generation into groundbreaking works. Excerpt From My Love Is Unconditional
I sometimes wonder how things would be if I did not have God with me. At a young age I believe around 13 years of age, I accepted Jesus Christ into my life as Lord and Savior; and although it did not stop me from making bad choices, it kept me from death. As a result, it broke the bondage of addiction and depression and God who was with me the whole time broke me out the prison I was in (Deuteronomy 31:6; 80). People battle, and struggle with many things, but when you have God with you, you overcome it all (1 John 5:4). This world is full of tribulation but be encouraged Jesus has defeated it all (John 16:33). This was done on the cross when He willingly gave up His life, so you and I can have one (1 Timothy 2:6). He did this out of unconditional love (John 3:16). God’s love is unfathomable, but it is real.
The length that God will go to demonstrate His love is humbling. Your faults or weaknesses will not stop Him. All He wants is for you to live in His love (Romans 5:8).
God’s love is pure and unmatched. Ask Him for it today and see what you will experience. If you want to know more about His love, then read my book My Love is Unconditional here. How many stories have you read that transformed you, that brought you out of a low place, that encouraged you, and helped you?
We live in a world that was not meant for us to be alone. We are social beings, and we get life and energy from other people's experiences. So, help someone today, be bold, and share the Love Of God Today! Share this blog with someone that needs to hear God loves them!
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