Updated: 4 days ago
It's all about me!
“With God you are crucified, you kill and get rid of and destroy completely the flesh with everything is offers.” - see Galatians 5:24 and Romans 6:6
The Scriptures are referring to the influence and desires that we are innately born with or adapt like being self-absorbed, selfish, and making it all about you.
There are various degrees of being selfish but the root characteristic is pride, so let's talk about it.
People say, “I'm not born with pride, or evil tenancy.” But if you look at a toddler and a young child, any parent or caretaker can tell you, you spend most of the time righting their wrongs or correcting them.
Where does the understanding or knowing how to do what's wrong come from? If we weren't born selfish, then we would have better marriages and healthier relationships. There will be no problems.
When you are selfish, you lack consideration for others. You don't take the time to understand something or someone.
Pride and selfishness go hand in hand.
It's hard to display one without the other. God warns us to not do anything through selfish ambitions, but rather do it with humility (see Philippians 2:3-4). God is indicating to us that selfishness is the opposite of humility and the major trait that is opposite of humility is pride.
When you're prideful you are self-focused. If you think about it, even if you propose something that interests someone else, if it is done to come back to you in whatever way then it was a self-imposed action.
Answer this, if you were to gain nothing out of it, would you do it, share it, it or give it? If you answer no, then it's selfish. We all do it in some form or another, because of our innate nature. We are all born with this wrong nature (see Psalm 51:5). Do you see how subtly and sly our flesh can be? How it leads us into situations we are not always aware of. It's selfish, self-motivated, and self-everything. It's about me and my comfort and my needs. Where does it ever consider others?
There is hope and it is found in God's Word. The very Word that will help you identify prideful characteristics and show you how to get rid of them (see 2 Timothy 3:16-17, Romans 7:18, Galatians 5:24, Romans 13:14, James 1:14-15). God's Word comes with an intention to transform you.
All scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof (what God disapproves), for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete (having all that is necessary to be upright), equipped (ready) for every good work. - 2 Timothy 3:12-17
"The defense of a Christian in a day of moral decline is a thorough acquaintanceship with the written Scriptures” – Ray Sedman
Being selfish causes you to act in what the Bible calls flesh or carnal. According to the Greek dictionary (the language the New Testament used), carnality means to have the nature and characteristics of the flesh aka “fleshly.” It is behaving in a way that is motivated by your own needs and wants.
What are signs that you are operating in the flesh?
1 Corinthians 3 - For ye are yet (right now) carnal: for while there is among you envying (discontent), and strife (quarrelling, arguing, conflict), and divisions (separation), are you not carnal, and walk as men?
Galatians 5:19-21 - Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity (hostility), strife (quarrelling, arguing, conflict), jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions (separation), envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit (succeed to) the kingdom of God.
1 John 2:15-16 - Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world.
Pride is more dangerous than you think
The dangerous thing about being prideful is you can be blinded to your own pride. It is designed that way to keep you unaware that it exists in you.
Pride is one word but has numerous traits like: impatience, frustration, irritable, easily angered, easily offended, demanding, bossy, difficult, nagging, insistent, selfish, attention seeking, arrogant, criticizing, fault finding, stubbornness, showing off, talkative, competitiveness, disobedience, egotistical, narcissists, jealousy (read more about jealousy here), judgmental, greed, no harmony and more.
What characteristic should you change about yourself but keep making excuses? Or, seeing other people's character or ways as the problem but not yours?
Any time you make it about "you" and what "I" want without considering others, you are acting in pride.
Pride is a subtle tricky character, and you need humility to expose it.
Look up the traits of pride, it will surprise you when you see the meaning behind them and compare them to your own life and see which ones you battle with. Once you do, ask God to help get rid of them and be patient in the process because depending on who you are the process will be harder and longer for some. But once they are gone you will see a change and you will naturally operate in humility. God is, has been, and will always be the solution.
Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever - 1 John 2:15-17.
John is warning us not to be overly attached to worldly things. As we can see nothing in this world is worth holding on to or depending on because just like that a financial crisis can happen or you can be embezzled and lose everything you worked for.
During the 07 financial crises many people committed suicide, went into depression, the divorce rate went up, and families were destroyed over money. We should never give anything that much power over us.
When you depend on God for your safety and security what you have or do not have won’t affect your livelihood. You will not live in fear or worry.
Our focus should be on introducing people to our loving Creator and being Kingdom minded, because when you are Kingdom minded your priorities change.
You become selfless as you realize the many people are losing their lives because we are too busy or caught up on building ourselves, our reputation, and homes; neglecting our assignments which is to be used by God to help other.
If you reject self to the total submission or authority of Christ, then He will be able to put you in a position to be humble to others, then allowing God to be able to do within you, His will. This is how you can become an effective and fruitful person.
When you become an empty vessel that God can fill by doing nothing of yourselves you will be the most successful. How awesome is it to be a channel where God can manifest His love, goodness, wisdom and glory?
Humility is the excellent way to live, so strive for it. And remember humility puts you in a position of greatness.
To read more about humility check out "My Love Is Unconditional" here, It will show you that when you operate in humility you operate in wisdom!